When Thesis Writing Attacks.

by Bec Hawkings

I handed in my Honours thesis a few weeks back.  One sleep-deprived afternoon, a week before my thesis was due for submission, I sat in a café and spent four hours rewriting parts of my thesis as a series of haikus. Thesis writing, you see, is less a test of research capabilities, and is rather a way to find out just how tenuous your grasp on sanity can become without ending in riots and/or crying.


“When disillusioned / listen to The Redfern Speech / it will make you weep.”


“Conservatism / taking Australia backwards / Menzies and Howard.”


“The Light on the Hill / the foundation of Labor / and of Keating’s reign.”


“Why am I writing / everything I write is shit / I hate everyone.”


“Paul Keating, P.M. / Howard, the ‘mangy maggot’ / Keating was a BAMF.”


“1949 / everything was fine until / Menzies came along.”


“Fear is no reason / to revert back to old ways / and miss the future.”


“Dear Robert Menzies / you inspired John Howard / Unforgivable.”


“Dear Mr Chifley / You screwed up in ’49 / Well, at least you tried.”


“Dear Mr Keating / Oh, I love your vitriol / Never, ever change.”


“Fuck you, John Howard / fuck your conservatism / and also, you smell.”