When Thesis Writing Attacks.
by Bec Hawkings
I handed in my Honours thesis a few weeks back. One sleep-deprived afternoon, a week before my thesis was due for submission, I sat in a café and spent four hours rewriting parts of my thesis as a series of haikus. Thesis writing, you see, is less a test of research capabilities, and is rather a way to find out just how tenuous your grasp on sanity can become without ending in riots and/or crying.
“When disillusioned / listen to The Redfern Speech / it will make you weep.”
“Conservatism / taking Australia backwards / Menzies and Howard.”
“The Light on the Hill / the foundation of Labor / and of Keating’s reign.”
“Why am I writing / everything I write is shit / I hate everyone.”
“Paul Keating, P.M. / Howard, the ‘mangy maggot’ / Keating was a BAMF.”
“1949 / everything was fine until / Menzies came along.”
“Fear is no reason / to revert back to old ways / and miss the future.”
“Dear Robert Menzies / you inspired John Howard / Unforgivable.”
“Dear Mr Chifley / You screwed up in ’49 / Well, at least you tried.”
“Dear Mr Keating / Oh, I love your vitriol / Never, ever change.”
“Fuck you, John Howard / fuck your conservatism / and also, you smell.”